Speaking the Truth in Love

Dr. Doyle Hamilton
Audio Type: 
Family University
First Baptist Church Roswell, GA
Contemporary Christian
Transcript of Podcast: 

Speaking the Truth in Love

“Instead, speaking the truth in love….” (Ephesians 4:15a)


The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Warning Signs

1.     Criticism (Attacks the character of the person)

2.     Defensiveness (Attempt to ward off perceived attack)

3.     Contempt (Greatest predictor of divorce; “I AM RIGHT”)

4.     Stonewalling (Withdrawing)

Antidotes for The Four Horsemen

1.     The antidote for criticism is to make a complaint without blame.

2.     The antidote for defensiveness is to accept some responsibility, even if only for a part.

3.     The antidote for contempt is to create a climate of appreciation and respect.

4.     The antidote for stonewalling is to practice physiological self-soothing.

Four Keys to Improving Your Marriage

            Strategy 1: Calm Down

            Strategy 2: Speak Nondefensively

            Strategy 3: Find ways to validate the other

            Strategy 4: Over Learning: Try and try again

Doyle Hamilton, Pastoral Counselor

Roswell Counseling Center, LLC



Taken from Dr. John Gottman’s research and book Seven Principals for Making Your Marriage Work